• Agile Coach

No feedback method is virtuous: only direct honesty works

Type “feedback method” into your Google search bar and you’ll find dozens of self-claimed best templates for giving feedback. Invariably, the promise is that if you put your feedback in the recommended form, it will always arrive well with the recipient. Really, in my experience, those templates actually always become uncomfortable if you keep applying them consistently. The ultimate algorithm for giving feedback doesn’t exist, I suspect. But I found another solution: you can also just be honest with each other, without a template. In this article, I explain how you can do that.

Let’s start with one of the most popular and infamous methods: the hamburger method. The idea behind the hamburger method is that you can mitigate criticism with two compliments: one before the criticism and one after the criticism. That can work quite well the first few times. But you can imagine that it gets very tiring when someone systematically gives you feedback in this way. You get defensive at the first hint of praise. You immediately sense that misery is on the way and you soon stop listening to the real message. The hamburger method is also far too elaborate to be effective. I imagined an action movie with a few heroes in a difficult situation. What hilarious dialogues and events would occur if they too communicated using the hamburger method? They soon lose too much time and everything goes wrong. You see, you can learn something from an action movie! I searched further.

Direct honest feedback works best

A hero team needs something better than a hamburger method. Heroes need quick and honest feedback. By tuning in effectively and concisely, they can get out of their predicament. The problem is that quick honest feedback doesn’t work in the average workplace. You don’t get it from anyone. And you’re also careful not to just tell everyone the truth. So what’s going on here? What’s the difference between you and your colleagues and the hero team? In the average work environment, there is a lack of security and self-confidence. The workplace politics and uncertainty of professional life rarely encourage honest feedback. But I found hope: You can build a platform for honest feedback. Here’s what I discovered.

Honest feedback can be hard to digest

Unpolished, honest feedback can be hard to swallow: it can painfully damage your self-image. Imagine you fill the role of “Product Owner. Someone bluntly points out to you that your Product Backlog wasn’t that valuable. It stings, because that person is also right on some points. Instead of listening, you begin – on a whim – a heated discussion about the proper way to give feedback. You don’t come to a conclusion together, so you decide never to discuss your Product Backlog with that wise guy again. That Backlog wasn’t so bad after all.

This way of handling feedback makes it very difficult for you to grow in your role. You begin to avoid feedback. Your emotions also cause people to become less forthright. This cannot be the complete solution. But then what is?

Build a solid platform

To be honest, you need a solid platform. By a platform, I mean a solid foundation for your self-confidence. Some feedback can hit like a bomb. Then if you have a good platform, there is no problem. Emotions don’t have to run high. The best way to build that platform is to look for a “recognized baseline” of your ability. So you explore where the overlap lies between what you think you do well and what the other person can also affirm. It’s an anchor for your self-esteem and personality.

Let’s go back to the aforementioned example of the Product Owner. When you feel pain and despair bubbling up, you don’t let it consume you. At such a moment, you engage in a collaborative search for the things you did right. The results of that search will build your platform. After you discuss the good things, you will have a solid platform to discuss the rest of the feedback with each other without negative emotions. That way, you may discover together helpful solutions to avoid the problem next time. Or, on the contrary, you may discover that the feedback wasn’t that important at all.

If you keep a journal – a habit of many successful people – you can also use that journal to build your platform. It’s a perfect way to remember your successes and compliment yourself every now and then. ‘Count your blessings’ in your journal and you will see your platform become more robust every day.

Your teammates’ platform

In addition to building your own platform, you can also build someone else’s! You can help your teammates develop their own platform. This helps them quickly incorporate honest feedback and grow personally. Plus, you can practice using direct, honest feedback along the way.

The approach is simple: just get into the habit of giving direct, honest compliments. Acknowledge good work and valuable behavior. Make sure you are clear about the effect you appreciated and the action that preceded it. Don’t make it personal, even the actions you appreciate. Don’t say, “You’re the best,” but say, “You really brought that session to a successful conclusion by stopping on time and agreeing on clear next steps.”

“Feedback can only drive behavior, not results.”

No one has complete control over outcomes because unexpected things happen. But we do have a great deal of control over our behavior.

When you have mastered positive, direct and honest feedback, you have accomplished two things.

You’ve developed the habit of giving immediate succinct feedback. And you have colleagues with a platform to properly address negative feedback.

Conclusion: start building today

Forget the hamburger method, the three-step method, the ladder method and all the other feedback methods your Google search turned up. There is no quick, easy solution to feedback. Giving and receiving feedback requires a conscious effort to build “platforms”: yours and others’. It takes multiple skills to get your message clearly to the point. The art of giving compliments is surprisingly complicated. So it’s best to start practicing today.

If you need help implementing a better feedback culture for your team or organization, consider an in-company program with Scrum Academy. In addition to Scrum, the trainers have a wealth of experience in effective teamwork. Of course, you can also take the full Agile Coaching course.